I walked in on you chewing out a fellow Monday morning commuter for stumbling over your feet while getting on the metro. I knew you probably felt overlooked and unfairly treated. That small invasion of your personal space was enough to have all that you were feeling spill out on him.
One look on your face was enough for me to see that those feelings weren’t just today’s feelings. You looked so angry and at the same time so sad. When you didn’t get the fight you were looking for you started looking around you and your eyes found mine.
I looked at you with intent. I didn’t turn away my eyes when you looked into mine. I’m sure that was something you aren’t used to anymore; someone looking deeply into your angry eyes. More than ever they make people look away out of fear, right?
You looked back another time, but instead of getting me to look away I shot you a smile.
I hope it hit you in the right place. I think it did if even for a second.
Your look certainly hit mine. I felt tears well up into my eyes and a deep sadness overcame me. You broke my heart.
I wish I could have given you a hug. I wanted to hold you tight, make you feel the love I felt for you in that moment. It would have been too awkward though.
So instead I made sure that for the remainder of my commute your personal space was respected and protected. I made sure you could be the way you wanted to be. You looked up a couple of times and our eyes would meet. Did you wonder?
When I got off the metro I looked into your eyes one last time and wished you a wonderful day; I think I said it three times. I had to make sure you heard me. It was too late though you had to be the young man again protecting himself from the outside world through eyes filled with anger.
I wish we could have sat down and talked, but there are too many barriers still that I’m not ready to take…….